Lurking Fear

Conveyance Of Theme In “No One”s A Mystery”
Joseph Murphy

The theme of a story is its major element, the voice, the way the story portrays its main idea. Theme is made up of character, plot, and setting with its main elements being reinforced by experiences the reader has had in his or her life. A hero story such as Gilgamesh might be a fantasy tale to most modern readers, but to readers of older cultures it was a tale reinforcing religious and social values. No One”s A Mystery reinforces our cultural values of adultery and underage sex by using strong images and wording to play on our modern cultures negative view of these things.

No One”s A Mystery puts the reader into the negative theme immediately. When Jack, a main character, notices his wife”s car coming up the road the narrator states “He pushed me down onto the dirty floor of the pickup” ( Tallent, 6 ). This scene of the narrator, an 18 year old, involved in adultery with an older man is emotionally deep. The action of Jack pushing the girl down brings up anger in a person. This is exactly the response the author wanted, and she reinforces it by describing the scene even more. Jack “kept one hand on my head while I inhaled the musk of his cigarettes in the dashboard ashtray” ( Tallent, 6 ). The setting reinforces the theme again later in the story by stressing how young the narrator is.

The narrator goes further by telling jack about the hundreds of pop tops that are on the floor of his pickup, and says “Some little kid could cut a bare foot on one of these” ( Tallent, 6 ). Her lover, Jack replies, “No little kids get into this truck except for you” ( Tallent,7 ). This statement is meant not only to display the narrators youth, but also meant to incite the readers emotions again by purposely stressing her youth. In twentieth century American society an older man is looked down upon for dating such a young girl and can even be charged with rape. The image of her youth and innocence is played upon even further in the next section of the story.

The narrator is given a diary by Jack, her lover for her eighteenth birthday. This tells the reader that the relationship has been going on before the girl was of legal age. The girls” youth and innocence is played upon when Jack starts talking about the diary. “Tonight you”ll write, ”I love Jack”” ( Tallent, 7 ). Then he continues, “In a year you”ll write, ”I wonder what I ever saw in Jack”” ( Tallent, 7 ). The narrator counters to the contrary she will always love Jack. This exchange has some hidden meanings. The author is trying to show the reader that Jack knows they will not be together a year from then. The author is also trying to show the innocence and naivete of the girl in comparison to the knowledge of Jack. This diary encounter again brings out an emotional response in the reader by its imagery.

The visual and verbal images of this work are the key elements. The characters are not round characters but rather flat and stereotypical as the title No One”s A Mystery suggests. But the way the characters are used, the straightforwardness of language and setting are meant to bring the reader to an emotional edge. The filthiness of the truck, the youth of the narrator, and the exchange between Jack and the girl over the diary help to reinforce the negative emotional response that the author was looking for.

Comparison Contrast
Joseph Murphy

When critiquing literature the obvious similarities between stories often hold deeper meaning. What seems like a simple common story element, like the mothers in “Fenstad”s Mother”, and “Everything That Rises Must Converge”, are really just the beginning of deep similarities in theme and tone between these two works. Each story uses the differences between mother and son relations to set the tone and theme but the characters and their viewpoints are almost exact opposites.

In the work “Fenstad”s Mother” the reader gets the sense that the main character doesn”t agree with his mother”s viewpoint. This is shown in the very beginning when the narration states in a negative context, “She had spent her life in the company of rebels and deviationists.” ( Fenstads Mother, 117 ). Fenstad is more of a normal guy not a rebel like his mother. Fenstad attends church while his mother does not; Fenstad”s mother is a social progressive while Fenstad is more conservative. Throughout the work, the reader gets the feeling that Fenstad is disappointed in his mother”s actions or perhaps disappointed in her perspective of the world because of these differences between them.

In the work “Everything That Rises….” the reader is immediately shown the difference in viewpoints between the son and the mother. “She would not ride the buses by herself since they had been integrated” ( Everything.., 393 ) This is in contrast to the main characters viewpoint when later in the work he states his feeling that he must sit next to a black person on the bus in a sort of penance to his mothers racist attitudes. The mother is racist by birth almost, raised in the way of the old south. She doesn”t like the breakdown of the old racist traditions or the breakdown of social class. The son, on the other hand, is open-minded and feels that racism is wrong and so is the arrogance of thinking oneself upper class.

In both works the story centers on the differences in viewpoint between mother and son. The major difference in the two works is that the main character roles are reversed. In “Fenstad”s Mother” the mother is the liberal minded one and the son the conservative while this role is different in “Everything That Rises..” where the son is the liberal and the mother the conservative. During each story the main characters struggle with their mother”s view of the world and how it differs from theirs. This struggle comes to a climax when one main character has to deal with his mother”s death, and the other Fenstad has to deal with his mother”s sickness. Both characters realize what they will be missing by having their mother”s gone. This is perhaps the biggest similarity in both works. The son”s having to deal with their hidden feelings of their mothers.

While each work has a different setting, characters, and story line, the main theme and tone are the same. Each work sets the reader in the narrator”s mind analyzing the viewpoints of the mother in contrast to the narrator. In “Everything that rises..” these contrasts are straight forward, while in “Fenstad”s Mother” they are subtler. Each work deals with the generation gap and the changing of social thought through conflict between the main character and his mother, however the works reverse the roles of liberal and conservative between mother and son.

Modernism And “Barn Burning”
Joseph Murphy

The Modernism period of literature produced a great many works that are considered classic today. Many of these works are filled with characters and scenes that continue even when the story is finished. The creation of the modernist author is clear and precise, the character”s are real people not just representation”s of emotion, and the work as a whole tends to lead to an overall meaning for the main character and the reader.

In “Barn Burning” each scene is itself a story to be read. This is the Modernist way of writing every detail and sight is before the reader. The very first line of “Barn Burning” puts the reader into the scene by using vivid imagery. “The store … smelled of cheese”, the main character “could see the ranked shelves close packed with solid, squat, dynamic shapes of tin cans whose labels his stomach read” ( Barn Burning, 1798 ) This description is very clear and precise, describing the store, and even saying the main character is hungry. This detail when writing is a Modernist trait.

Another aspect of “Barn Burning” that makes it a Modernist piece is its use of in depth characters. The main character Sartoris Snopes is more than just a character portraying an emotion as some Postmodern characters do. Sartoris Snopes is a well rounded character, as readers we know the boy despises what his father does, we know the boy is totally different than his brother. The father is well rounded as well, we know of his hatred of higher social classes and of his hatred of himself being on the same level as blacks. We learn these things by the vivid writing style of the author. These characters are not just a statement on paper, they are alive the reader can see the character and know the character.

A very important part of the Modernist style of work is the ability to portray some form of message. This message is learned by the main character and the reader. Postmodern literature tends to have a jumbled ending, where the meaning is unclear and often unfathomable. “Barn Burning” has an ending that is to the point. The boy Sartoris is tired of his father”s actions and wants to change. When his father goes to burn down the barn, Sartoris runs to the mansion and tells on him. This shows the difference between Sartoris and his father. At the very end, Sartoris watches his family on the wagon roll away, he turns his back and never looks back. Sartoris has made the final decision that his life will be different, the message is clear.

In my opinion, Modernism is truth on paper, maybe it is not a truth that I believe or agree with, but it is truth. Modernism uses smells, sounds, sights to paint the clear and precise picture that is the nature of Modernist works. The characters of the Modernist are well rounded to the point of almost being alive, the reader knows the character and almost feels what the character feels. And the Modernist ending is to the point, and doesn”t leave the reader struggling with meaning as Postmodernist works tend to do. “Barn Burning” displays all of these elements.

1970”s : The Turbulent Years
Joe Murphy

The 1970”s in the United States is often thought of as a boring time following the turbulent 1960”s, but according to the activity this is not the case. The 1970”s had it”s share tubulence, especially in the politics of the country. One might even say the 1970”s had far more political and social overtones then any generation in the twentieth century. This decade, although frequently thought of as the disco era, actually held many events that helped shape this nation. The 1970”s was the time the women”s movement exploded, abortion was legalized, the sexual revolution flowered, the Vietnam war ended, and counter culture first became mainstream. These five items might seem trivial but their importance helped make the United States a political hotbed that helped define our country in the 1970”s.

Prior to the 1970”s the women”s movement was basically an underground political organization. Although constantly growing and winning many major battles between the 1860”s and a major victory in 1950”s the women”s movement was at its height in the 1970”s. In 1920 the final ratification of the nineteenth amendment took place, but there was not another major step forward for women”s rights until the war years. “The last of these war years, saw rapid breakdown in the norms held for women.” ( Flexner, 305 ) After the second world war ended women”s perspective changed. Women themselves started realizing a greater potential than they previously held for themselves. Of course this is for the majority, a few women of that time in the United States already were deeply involved in the women”s movement. But this growing idea of greater potential blossomed.

During the 1960”s further progress was made at bringing women to the forefront of events. “Betty Friedmans, The Feminine Mystique, became a needed catalyst for the upper class to become involved.” ( Flexner, 345 ) With the involvement of all social classes the woman”s movement was finally ready to reach its height in the 1970”s. “Society was digesting the changes of reproductive rights, equal pay for equal work, and career freedom.” ( Edelstein, 67 ) The women”s movement of the seventies achieved many of it”s goals very rapidly. It did this by moving away from it”s original grass roots formation and latching itself onto big names of the times. Some of the faces of the women”s movement were, Betty Ford, Rosalyn Carter who helped try and push the Equal Rights Amendment through congress. This amendment was stalled though because conservatives convinced many that the women”s movement was a bunch of radical”s out to ruin the family values of America. The seventies held many events for woman, ”Ms.” Magazine had its premier issue. Billy Jean King was first women athlete to earn more than $100,000 a year. Ella Grasso is elected governor of Conneticut. Nasa accepts women for astronauts and one of the most important events, the Roe Vs. Wade decision to legalize abortion.

“Abortion laws in the United States developed out of Anglo-Saxon tradition” ( Flanders 5 ). This tradition dictated that the fetus was able to aborted prior to the quickening. It was believed that at the point of quickening the soul actually enters the fetus and it becomes human. This was challenged for the first time in 1812 when the Supreme Court ruled that abortion was legal until fetal movement. The issue wasn”t really challenged again until the late 1800”s when the American Medical Association took the anti-abortion stance. At this point abortion went down the road towards criminalization. Many states adopted strict anti-abortion laws that outlawed the practice. These strict laws lasted up until the 1960”s when liberal viewpoints began to shape the issue.

During the 1960”s, a more open and frank discussion of abortion was in the publics mind. This decade with its beginnings of open sexuality and radical idealism helped clear the way for the break down of Christian abortion strongholds across the country. Finally during the 1970”s states like Colorado, California and North Carolina became the first states to enact liberal abortion laws. The American Bar Association adopted a uniform abortion statute that became the model for all the states in 1972. Then finally in 1973 the famous decision of Roe Vs. Wade was passed down by the Supreme Court once again legalizing abortion across the country. Although this didn”t solve the issue the decision struck down all the legislation that the AMA helped pass since the late 1800”s. This decision along with the rise in the woman”s movement helped spawn the sexual revolution.

The sexual revolution went hand in hand with the Roe vs. Wade decision and the rise in women”s power. The sexual revolution was basically a time in which women were no longer afraid to show their feelings and act on them. Before the sexual revolution a women was supposed to stay home and not ask men out on dates, these are just a couple of things that changed. Women were now taking control of there lives, getting there own apartments and the big thing, enjoying sex for the first time. The sexual revolution was more about a women”s mental freedom to enjoy her sexuality and not feel guilty about it. Without the outspoken women”s movement of this or the Roe vs. Wade decision which put women in control of their bodies, the sexual revolution wouldn”t have happened. Another reason for the flowering of the sexual revolution was the ending of the Vietnam War, a war in which women took a good part in the protesting against.

The Vietnam war was a long and costly conflict for the United States. It was a major part of the formation of culture in the 1970”s. The war which ended for American troops in March 1973 when our last forces pulled out of Vietnam, actually began in autumn of 1946 when the French-Viet Minh agreement broke down. The United States had troops stationed there but the first battle ready troops landed in March 1965, when a battalion of Marines landed at Danang. “Two months later in May, the First US Army unit, the 173rd Airborne Brigade arrives in Vietnam” ( Willenson, 19 ). This buildup continued until 1969 when the United States peak strength was at 543,400. This was all actually part of a police action by the President and war was never actually declared on Vietnam. This perhaps helped spawn the intense resentment of the war by the American people.

During Vietnam, Americans reacted with a great amount of protest at home. People were seeing thousands of men die in a war that was never declared. Perhaps the mindset of the 60”s and 70”s was just too radical to support a conflict like Vietnam. Many say the war was frowned upon because of the ideas World War II left in the minds of many Americans. With nuclear power and a basic Capitalist against Communist conflict going on, the general public of the United States was very afraid. The way people reacted to this war was far different than ever before. The women”s movement took an active role in denouncing the fighting, along with many counter culture types such as Dr. Timothy Leary. First these ideas against the war started small during the first few years. But as the war reached its height in the early 1970”s the anti war movement was in full swing. Some of the largest demonstrations the United States has ever seen took place, along with incidents of rioting and violence on the home-front. This growing anti war movement was on the news and in people minds a lot. This helped bring the counter culture ideas into the mainstream of society during the 1970”s.

Counter culture has always existed in the United States. Even during the 1950”s when most people think everything was perfect and pretty. Certain people have always used drugs, worn strange clothes, or wore their hair in odd hairstyles. These are the identifiers of the counter culture movements. The large anti war movement, fed by 60”s radicalism and the growing women”s movement, helped bring this counter culture movement into the mainstream. A lot of the members of the women”s movement and the anti war movement dressed and thought differently then mainstream America at that time. So as these types gained visual recognition by the media, mainstream America was exposed to them, thus making the counter culture lifestyle more acceptable. By the time the late 1970”s came around counter culture was in full swing in the United States. It was the height of the drug era. The disco look, tight pants, mini skirts and odd hairstyles were going strong. Even high fashion stores such as Macy”s were displaying these counter culture looks in there shadow boxes. Counter culture had gone mainstream for the first time in America”s history. It was acceptable to look like a wierdo.

The 1970”s was a decade of tremendous movement for the United States. The women”s movement gained national recognition. With this national recognition and power base it helped frame the Roe vs. Wade decision. This decision in turned gave more power to women and helped bring the sexual revolution into full swing. These were also helped by the ending of the Vietnam war in which women took a great part in the protesting against. And the spotlighting of counter culture types during the war protest and women”s rights movements helped bring the counter culture of America in the mainstream for the first time. All of these things were important parts of the 1970”s. Each helped make the 1970”s one the most important political decades for the advancement of social ideals in the United States.

Absolute Relativism ( 1995 )
Joseph Murphy

In life one must decide how one makes decisions. Either one bases decisions on situation ( relativist ), or one bases decisions on a strict set of moral code that is always followed, ( absolutist ). Although it sounds nice to follow a moral code that constantly guides ones life, this seems impossible for every situation. Each person is a relativist because each decision demands thought, whether moral or not, each situation changes is unique not absolute, and the constrictions on being absolute are too hard to follow considering human nature.

Being absolute in ones thinking is a nice fantasy. Jesus said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” meaning no one is perfect. A person can not say they are absolute in their decisions because of moral boundary”s. Each decision demands thought, and demands change of thought based on the situation. How could one decide if their moral values should kick in if the situation was not examined. Therefore the examining of the situation makes it a relative decision, canceling out any absolutes. It is impossible to be absolute because each situation is examined and each situation does change.

Every day one”s environment changes. Sometimes good things happen to a person, sometimes bad things. Each of these changing situations demands that perspective change and conform to the current decision. If the world was absolute perhaps decision making could be absolute as well. If one is a Christian, then murder is against Christian law. What if a person was to put a gun to the head of one”s mother, Christian or not, one can not say they would turn the other cheek. This is one example of how situations change, and how a situation can change the way one would make a decision. The final problem with being an absolutist is the human nature issue.

Every individual no matter how absolute in moral doctrine has one major flaw. The flaw of human nature. It is impossible to walk through life without making a mistake. Mistakes are what make humans human. To be absolute would make a human like a computer. Never failing in the structure and form that leads to the end decision. Human nature demands that some situations be treated differently. Sometimes instinct itself will prevail over the decision making process. Being absolute is humanly an impossibility.

It is nice to think that one is so morally correct that each decision can be made based on a strict moral code. But giving the basic facts that each situation demands different examination is enough to say absolutism is impossible. Also each situation changes constantly, sometimes not allowing the time to insert moral doctrine in the decision making process, each situation changes. But the biggest problem with absolutism is that each person is human and has the flaw of human nature and instinct which cancel out absolutism when human nature or instinct kick in. One has to see that being absolute is an idea, a golden apple, something to be desired, but is an impossibility.

 Porn infested images, computer screen internet dump, wasteland.
Flashing fucking, dicks and cunts, masturbation nation, ass fucked.
Tits and ass, fast cash, 18 year old bitches, and fat dicked studs.
Cream and ram, cram, insert and spurt, fucking dick sucking.
Text cyber sex, fingers thrusting tongues swirling, harden, stiffen.
Oily assholes and dripping cocks, hardcore, hip hop rock, mp3 delivery.
Cyber world is driven, buy buy buy, fucking, song ripping, warez and virii scares.
Internet wasteland.

tear gas canister forms clouds of smoke
blinding eyes
smashing windows feet on bricks
cops and dogs and rubber bullets
nightsticks swing smashing heads
blood flows red
on the pavement a dead fucking hippy gets
trampled by a horse
media laughs of course
all i can do is run
all i can do is run
explosions then pain, beanbag canister
i wake up 2 days later in a hospital
the protest is done

she is a webcam slut
she shows her titties to the world
she rubs her crotch through white panties
for 15 year old boys and 65 year old men
buying shit from her paypal love affairs

she is a webcam whore
she sucks virtual cock for an ebay trinket
slaps her ass playfully and tries her best
to make her cleavage look good
she walks a virtual streetcorner making cash

she is a webcam goddess
everyone wants her young piece of pussy
but all they can do is spooge on their monitor
and sleep to login the next day
and spooge on their monitor again

nose candy coke whores
liquor driven red nosed drunks fighting
heroin tracked smack junkies
mob flunkies with bodies in their trunks
cops busting, fucking a whore for bail
the blacktop nightmare, american dream
of money and standing. landing not on your feet
but beat down, smacked down, pushed down
defeat.
defeat

fast money from a crackhead on the street
he got beat
on a twenty dollar piece of wax
while johns tax his girls ass
for another bill
she knows the deal
hooker hoe getting pimped by her man
ex high school football star
he didnt get far
hit the pipe
night…falls on the scene
the two of them wrapped in a corner smoking wax
the pusher laughs on the street
his deceit
is the worlds.
broken bodies
defeat.

im on your net bitch
scratch and itch as you frantically
scan for ports to drop, connections to stop.
helpless, router owned, ports scanned
firewall zone,
broken.
mcse dont fail you now, filthy paper culture hero,
nothing but a net zero.
i deny the services of 100 systems from 1000 more,
your network is my whore, seal up it…
lock the router down…
all safe..
im not worried, i planted a backdoor.
see you next week.

warez bitch
scratch that itch
‘ touch of class’
its hard to pass
its like heaven
‘razor 1911′
‘thc’
its all free for you and me
but the knock will come
and youll run
like mitnic on an empty street
it wont come like the 1980s salvation
bioc agent guide to telecommunication…

you in the distance,
is it time well spent..
emailing.. friend or more?
adore, viewing your text
as images in my mind.

I don’t know if anyone else has really noticed this but it seems that people involved in the punk rock genre (this is an all encompassing statement including: new wave, sx, hardcore, goth, etc) are infatuated with letting everyone else know what bands they like.? It also seems that one of the main methods of spreading their ((bandage)) is by plastering up their car rear bumper and window with band stickers.? Is it just me, am I imagining this?? Or is there some secret sticker cult conspiracy going on.

I often here this term ?scene? and sometimes start to wonder what it actually entails and who it actually encompasses.? Now don?t get me wrong, I understand the concept that a scene is a group of like minded people participating in like events.? Even Websters dictionary gets this (scene – A sphere of activity.) ?but when I try to break it down I can?t seem to figure out the details.?

I tend to visit a bunch of websites during my daily travels, as a matter of fact I probably tend to visit far too many. Often I am just perusing in sheer boredom looking for an interesting photo or fact that I can store in the back of brain for use during some duplicitous conversation about this or that. But I find my brief attention span and sometimes annoying interruptions force me to bookmark things in my favorites quite a bit. Now I suppose the intention I have is to go back and visit these sites again, as at the time they queued an interest or idea great enough to have me book mark them. But added to the fact of a bad memory and net slackerdom I tend to never ever go back and visit these once interesting sites. As a matter of fact I dont even actively use bookmarks, most of the sites I visit have decent enough domain names that I can actually recall them without having to initiate a click search, so I guess I shouldn’t bookmark them anyways….but enough going on. This week we will visit sites I have bookmarked, good or bad, explanation or not.

http://digg.com

This is some sort of user drivin link site. I have heard this net word around quite a bit along with some others that I cant seem to remember. Apparently users with the help of some sort of browser interface can ‘digg’ sites and this will add to that sites rating and get the site posted on the main digg website. It can be sorted by topics, and includes news, videos and all sorts of other net junk for you to look at. Apparently I thought a popular link site driven by the masses was a good idea…well hey I am writing about links after all.

http://www.tinylittledots.com

Hmm I am desperately trying to remember why this is bookmarked. I think this site was in relation to blogs or sites that I was linking up in the Tampa area. Heck I might have even mentioned it in a previous article, but at this point I am too lazy to go look. This is a blog style site with lots of links to other local tampa places both on and off the map. For some reason some of the links seem real familiar on this site, like tampa taxi shots. I don’t know whose site this is, but hey, nice work in linking up some ‘local goodness’.

http://thesecret.tv

Apparently for a few minutes on some day in the past I was interested in the ultimate secrets of life. Perhaps this was inspired by some horrifying davinci code conversation in a break room somewhere that hopefully I culled by just walking away. Well for $4.95 you can watch the full screen version of ‘the secret’. I don’t think I have watched it or I might be a millionaire or something by now, or maybe have become so enlightened that I am almost transparent and can float around. Well if you need guidance I highly suggest you bookmark ‘the secret’, don’t actually watch it, just bookmark it.

http://www.hivelocitynetworks.com/cardreaders.html

Wow this is utterly super amazing link. This is a bookmark for the POS-X xm90 credit card swipe reading machine, with USB or SERIAL capability. Nothing beats finding this kind of link in your bookmarks to just verify that you like to look at crap all day. Perhaps while I was getting bored with reading my manual on how to re-ink my old commodore dot matrix printer manual I decided to go perusing the joys of card readers Man this one just takes the cake. Now I am not saying you should actually visit this site, but If you have something that beats this on boredom you have to let me know.

Well the elections are finally over and we no longer have to listen to hour upon hour of mindless drivel spewing from the television, radio, and of course our friends. The typical election information is just so biased and obviously geared towards those who can afford to cover every last media outlet with flyers and lies it’s almost sickening. Not to mention the average American votes strictly on the information they get from these media outlets and never even bother to research what their candidate is actually about. Anyways I am just sick of it, and not stupid enough to go around gloating that the democrats won congress because we all know nothing is going to change anyways. In the hopes of raising some hackles I thought I would show a few websites ( some slightly dated ) that are bound to piss of the politicians and local CNN flunkies around your office, enjoy.

http://anarchism.ws/writers/anarcho/vote.html
So you thought you were left huh, well take a gander at this. A very in depth and well written documented article on the inherit reasons to organize and forget voting altogether. This is quite unheard of in almost all circles of American society, but really does voting ever change anything? I surely don’t think so. Make sure you read it entirely and get some juicy quotes from it so you can spout off around work or the bar how voting is a sham! Put some democrats and republicans right in there place when they tell you that you don’t have the right to complain.

http://www.dontvote.com/
If you must take part in the big sham, at least you should know what you are talking about and don’t just spew the mindless vomit the fox news feeds you. This website probably has some hidden agenda because it was put together by AARP. Despite that it does have a full database of who all the candidates are and the links to their websites. It is a good resource if you are looking to see what a candidate actually voted on and where he or she might vote in coming years now that the election is over.

http://www.velvetrevolution.us
While not being totally on the cutting edge of politics, this website does offer quite a few insights and compelling articles on important issues. Most are left leaning, but still have forward leaning progressive ( that’s the word of the year ) ideas for change. Get information on Iraq, media and election reform all in a fairly tight and concise blog style format. One of my favorite things about this site is the large amount of quality links on most of the pages, these can lead to some other great sites and some real good discussion topics when you have had to many shots of Jack.

http://freeplayer.livejournal.com/24122.html
I don’t normally like to link just a single article and would rather send you to a somewhat decent resource of material, but with this one I just couldn’t help it. Every wonder why you work? Or better yet why you shouldn’t work? I don’t care if you answered no to the previous questions, this article has the answers for you. Don’t spend another minute at work slaving away for the man. Do something, do anything, just don’t get a job and don’t work. Learn the reasons why your moocher friends are doing it today, or why that guy you dated last year never worked. This is true insight, enjoy.

http://www.politics1.com/parties.htm
This is a pretty cool reading website. You can get all the junk on all the major and minor registered political parties in the USA. Most people don’t even know these exist, but if you must vote ( in the future ), you should find a party that really supports your ideals and try to get away from this two party system. Some of these are also pretty crazy, throw that beer away and check out the old school prohibition party, maybe its for you!

You know the funny thing about vacation is that you always end up doing the same thing. Well in a different place of course. I am sitting around in Key West watching the people go by, enjoying a break from work and doing just what I said above, the same thing. I am trying to find a club to go to, having a drink, and trying my hardest not to laugh at every tourist that walks by. Most have some kind of funny hat on it seems, one of those cat in the hat types, or some form of apparel brandishing the Key West logo ( some kind of artsy swirl that you see as typical product branding these days ). Tourists also are usually shit faced drunk, red, and have a kind of bewildered look about them. Now lets not forget that I am basically a tourist too, but hey I’m from Tampa and the locals up and down the street here trying to hand a flyer about para-sailing to every person walking by don’t even bother trying to give me one. I guess that means that I don’t come off as a tourist huh? But to continue, here I am, sitting in a far off locale, and what am I doing? I am browsing the internet.

http://www.weirdamerica.com
This is a pretty cool website. Typical of the day with tons of streamed in videos and such all over in a blog like format. There is an interesting clip about weird America from Mark Mothersbaugh from art and Devo fame ( as well as countless other projects ). I might not be in touch with television but this sight might be related to a TV show of the same name that features art and interesting people from around the country, either way it’s an interesting site.

http://www.ochevidec.net
First off, this website is all in Russian (at least it looks Russian to me), but if you are used to the format of websites you can navigate it pretty well. This site features photography mainly focused on landscapes and odd formations of people and/or objects. This site is in blog format so scroll down to see the photos and select the next page link at the bottom to continue browsing. Oh and on the left are links to Russian brides if you are interested…

http://pixer.us
Well the Russian photo site made me want to tell you about this incredible site. Its simply an online photo editing tool. Ever been stuck somewhere (like in Key West) without photoshop and need to do some quick editing, well this site is the place. Now you can’t do incredibly in depth tool functions but all the basics are there, and best of all its free gosh darn it.

http://www.indemand.com/HSOD/beaversalon
This site is just wrong, but I like to visit it to get my aggressions out from time to time. Now I know this might be a strange question ladies, but do you wax your beaver? If not then you probably should start right away by visiting this site. In addition to waxing, it has helpful tips on dyeing you beaver, and taking a pair of clippers to it.

http://www.bifrost.com.au/hosting/gnomes
I love this site so much I try to contribute. Remember those cute little garden gnomes that grandma had? Well actually how could you forget them the damn things were evil and needed to be violated and destroyed in any manner possible. This site gives us just that, submitted photos of garden gnome destruction. Not for the feint of heart, this site will put an end to that cute little gnome fascination once and for all, beware its not for the squemish.

Tampa. You never know what you have until you are not around it for a week or so. Tampa is small, it has small venues, few shows, and it has minimal culture, but it does HAVE it, unlike Key West which is basically just a tourist hole. Now I can’t really say anything to bad about it, because hey I was there, but after walking the streets of Key West I see exactly what they have done to Ybor City. You see at the end of Duval Street in Key West (like 7th in Ybor) is a large dock for the cruise ships (port of Tampa). All the tourists get off and go swarming through the ‘old part of town’ looking for those great deals on vacation spot items and overpriced food and drink. Ybor has resisted somewhat as it still claims a few distinct independent shops and stuff, but this wont last for long with the constant assault of tourists. Key West a few years back ( before the ships ) had many distinct shops, but now its shop after shop of the same mindless t-shirts, coffee mugs, key lime candy, and metal signs. This is all well and good if you are in it for the tourist sales, but its kind of sad to see a cool area degrade into the typical cruise ship port city that you see from Cozumel to East coast resort towns. But never fear, Tampa Bay Area isn’t based around Ybor city, as a matter of fact there are tons of spots around town to find cool things, here are some good resources for you to check out.

http://seminoleheights.blogspot.com/
This is a typical blog style website with a great amount of resources devoted to the Seminole Heights area. Includes recent articles from magazines and newspapers about Seminole Heights, politics that might affect the area, and best of all a ton of links to places in and around Seminole Heights. Read through the archives, it’s a great place to get a feel for whats going on in this hip part of town. From art galleries, restaurants to small shops, Seminole Heights can keep you out of the tourist throng.

http://www.coffeestain.com/genres/punk/index.shtml
Looking for a punk band to go check out in the Tampa area, well Coffeestain.Com ( well known for its flame wars ) can provide it for you. An awesome list of bands A-Z in the Tampa area as well as links to their websites, show dates, messages and more. Its not all about Punk either, find all types of bands in the Tampa area, from metal to hip hop, you wont be disappointed.

http://www.hellotampa.com/Art/Index.Cfm
I haven’t had a change to really explore this site in great detail but I have noticed it has a lot of resources and has been coming up on Tampa searches quite a bit lately. A great layout, nice format, and it has an excellent listing of Tampa art and artists. The site also features other types of events, from concerts to real estate, another great way to find some fun stuff in Tampa.

http://tampaunderground.tribe.net
Of course its not all about myspace even though everyone thinks it is. Tribe.Net has a great resource for seeing what is really happening in Tampa’s non tourist darkside. From fire eating shows, reggae, art events, political group meetings, and just about everything in between. Signing up on tribe is easy and its more personal and event driven then myspace, check it out.

Bored at work? Well thank the gods for the Internet! There isn’t a more perfect tool for wasting your employer’s valuable time then the Internet. Whether it is idling away precious hours playing online Tetris or clicking your way through endless pages of Wikipedia, the Internet makes work just bearable. Now many people will say ‘Hey we work hard all day!’ Well this is awesome because it gives the rest of us more time to waste (and probably get paid more than the complainers) while still having the appearance that things are getting done at work. Still reading? Then I know you are bored, let me list a few of my favorite sites that are my daily haunts while dodging the boss.

Cockeyed.Com : If you haven’t visited this site yet, you must be a newb. Rob Cockerhams site is full of strange science experiments, travel journals, naughty food items, and one of my favorites, his incredible creations. These creations range from Devo hats, Jenga Costumes, to amazing spring powered Converse low tops that should get you into the NBA in no time. This site is massive; you can easily waste a few days reading all the content.

Disinfo.Com : Do you live on the edge? Are you a left wing Wiccan Anarchist Vegan Rasta Crusty-punk? Then perhaps this site is for you. Filled with a mix of underground stories, opposing political opinions, and the deep secrets of Aleister Crowley’s Thelemic magic, Disinfo is sure to please your counter culture spirit. It’s a vast site that can teach you how to make fake boarding passes (apparently a no-no) to the inherit problems of a misguided satanic ritual, and best of all you can do it all while eating your tofu.

Myspace.Com : How could I not mention this site in my first article, I mean come on now. What better way to waste the days then constantly checking your comments and inbox to see if some other slack-handed net junkie is reading about your oh so interesting life on your profile. If you are new to the site and have no friends don’t worry you will eventually get flooded with friend requests from crappy bands, horrible painters, and bad photographers all looking for that 10 second fix of someone actually listening or looking at their work. Oh my favorite parts of Myspace are the skinny pictures of known fat girls & guys. Now I am no skinny chicken, but I also don’t take pictures at the most bizarre angles to hide my chunk, get real people. I could go on, but hasn’t all this been said already?

Thepoke.Co.Uk : This is a great website! It has funny commentary and stories ranging from how the queen is suing her dentist to the touching article on male butch horses that are tired of prancing about and being associated with the feminine side of things. Perhaps you would enjoy the course on being a ‘riter’ stating ‘everyone’s got a shit book in them’. This is the Weekly World News mixed with Monty Python, there is no better way to spend the day.

Well that is it for me this time. Ill try and continue to give you the best sites I find to waste time and expand your mind. Hopefully you didn’t get busted while checking those out. Remember dress for success and keep your fingers on Alt-Tab.